Chester and the Green Pig by Graham Burchell
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Available in print
YA Fantasy
Excellent 'read aloud' book
Novella
ISBN: 978-1-934614-07-5
When Chester wakes up, there's a green pig on his lawn. When it squeezes out under the back gate he follows it to a new, enticing world.
Welcome to a place where plants complain, where local people with the silliest names are obsessed with gold even though they have no idea about money. Welcome to Goldintown. It's being terrorized by an evil fat food fairy named Gluttonia, who with the aid of some pretty powerful magic, is stealing all the town’s kids. Or as the town’s Sheriff, Wetpants McTumble-Dry puts it, “One by one she is knee-capping - I mean kidnapping every child!”
Imagine Chester's surprise when he wakes up one morning to find a green pig in his backyard. His immediate reaction is that no one is going to believe him so when the pig runs out of the yard, Chester follows. After a while, it seems like the pig is leading Chester somewhere in particular. This fact is validated then the pig speaks.
Green Pig, what else could his name possibly be, takes Chester to a world where all the animals and plants speak. They all have cleaver names like Sheriff Wet Pants McTumble-Dry, Hissing Steam-Iron, Dr. Paddy O'Chair, etc. Everyone needs Chester's help, the Fat Food Fairy has been capturing children using delicious pizza and chocolate desserts to trap them.
Chester and the Green Pig is a riveting adventure. It was a chuckle throughout. ~ Dr. Tami Brady for TCM Reviews
Chester turned around. Set into an earthy bank was the concrete pipe. As he looked, it began to shrink – the pipe, the hole and a bright green circular door that the pig had pushed open. Soon there was no sign that anything had ever been there.
"Amazing!" Chester said, completely forgetting that the way back home had just disappeared in front of his eyes.
"Amazing?" repeated the squeaky old man voice. "No, not really!"
Chester looked down and saw the green pig right at his feet. "Well, I think it's amazing," the boy continued. He looked up to note a huge butterfly with wings the color of red tinfoil.
"Go ahead," said the voice.
Chester turned to the little pig again. It stared back blankly – no more and no less than you would expect from any little porker. "You won't speak to me when I'm looking at you, will you?" Chester said. The animal seemed to give a little nod. "How very odd. Are you shy? Is that what it is?" The pig looked bored. It sat down. "Very well – so you want me to go ahead, right?"
The green pig laid its head on the bare earth.
"Okay, I get the message." Chester took two steps and ploughed into the meadow.
He immediately jumped back, for the air was suddenly filled with cries of pain and complaints.
"Get off, you're squashing me," squealed some grasses.
"Oh my poor petals, he just killed Aristotle and all of his three sisters," cried an Indian Paintbrush flower.
"And he has done to death that poor green and yellow striped caterpillar," moaned a small sunflower. "I was only chatting to him this morning."
"Aristotle! Caterpillar!" said a very shocked Chester. "I didn't kill any Aristotle or a…"
"Yes you did," snapped a lone blade of grass. "He was one of my favorite ants."
"Can everything talk around here?" Chester asked. Nothing answered. All the boy could hear was the bees buzzing as they collected pollen. "Well, I'm very sorry," he continued. "I wouldn't harm a flea – not on purpose. Well, when I say a flea…"
"Can't you walk without stepping on the plants and insects?" said the pig while Chester was not looking.
"No, of course not. That's impossible."
The pig was behind Chester now. "Everything is impossible to you, it seems."
"Everything is impossible to you, it seems," echoed the flowers, the grasses and the insects.
"Very well," sighed the pig. With that Chester suddenly felt himself being raised up into the air. He felt very unsteady for a moment, but when he was able to look down, he noticed that his sandals were a good ten inches off the ground.
"Do not, and I repeat do not, say that is impossible," continued the pig, making sure he was out of view.
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